BEING RESPONSIBLE IS NOT GENDER-BASED

By Kabirat Arowona

Every household chores I can do as a lady, my brothers can do better. I don’t know how to use grinding stone, I don’t know how to set firewood– These are many of those things my brothers can do effortlessly and without stress. They all grew up with my Dad.

All the guys in my hostel(except one tho) can sweep, wash, clean, cook, multi-task while doing them, and you won’t tell them before they do these chores. The other one can pack used plates for a week or more, he doesn’t participate in any cleaning activities. I understand he wasn’t brought up to do these chores, it’s not just his way of life YET he is expected to get married to someone that can do everything, everytime, even when it’s not convenient for her.

It’s high time parents realized housework is an important skill for everyone to learn, including a boy–child.

I wash my clothes everyday, I don’t pack clothes to wash over weekends, I can’t just do it. I’ll die. The society expect me to wash another person used clothes(before he marries me) to prove I am a wife material. If your own definition of a wife material is ‘slavery’, I stopped being one this moment, please.

There was this day I needed to cook noodles, I was hungry but I was just too tired to cook so I slept off without eating. I woke up the following day and asked myself “Kabirat, what you tried last night, can you try it when you get married?” I know I can’t. A good wife cooks for her husband regardless of her state of health.

There is this joy that comes with knowing the man you are spending the rest of your life with can do these things, and it doesn’t necessarily means he would do them in marriage. Just know how to do them.

Dear parents,

Teach your boy-child to be responsible and self- reliance. Women can sit in front of the Television, be in control of the TV remote, while he cooks in the kitchen too.

Being responsible isn’t gender-based.

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